Classic comic 614 - Woodpecker

There once was a young man from Mecca
Who met a one-year-old woodpecker.
But something was lacking:
A card, shiny packing
And --gasp!-- a deluxe Black and Decker.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 250 - Snopes

From half-hearted email-scare clunkers
To tales of beasts eating spelunkers,
The way everyone copes
Is to check it on Snopes—
But who will debunk the debunkers?

Original comic here.

Classic comic 590 - Papyrus

That maddening typeface, Papyrus!
There's nothing more certain to tire us.
It's used with a smile
But you look infantile,
Like some fan of Bieber or Cyrus.

Original comic here.

A classic comic for a Friday morning, while we're on the subject of typography.

Classic comic 79 - Iambic Pentameter

There was an erudite young man from Stoke
Who used this meter ev'ry time he spoke,
Which might recall the Bard;
But it is hard
To use it to make any sort of joke.

Original comic here.

Nice to try a different meter once in a while. I noticed this comic because Explain XKCD (which I should probably read more) has started posting explanations of classic XKCD editions as well as new ones. Though I'm sorry to say that their expanation of this comic is somewhat lacking; not to put too fine a point on it, it is completely incorrect.

Classic comic 325 - A-Minus-Minus

There once was a trader named Linus
Renowned for his eBay-based slyness.
Instead of a top hat
He'd post you a bobcat
But his feedback still showed as A minus.

Original comic here.

One from the archives, while we're on the cat-attack theme.

Classic Comic 470 - The End is Not for a While

When protesters blather and babble
I join their unruly rabble
With signs that just say
Things are pretty OK
And would anyone like to play Scrabble?

Original comic here.

Lots of protesting going on at the moment, so it's nice to revisit this one.

Classic comic 22 - Barrel - Part 3

There once was a boy in a drum
Who drifted in search of his mum.
He was caught, while unready,
In a fast-flowing eddy:
His future looks gloomy and glum.

Original comic here.

The third episode in this gripping tale. Parts 1 and 2 are here and here.

Classic comic 11 - Barrel - Part 2

There once was a boy in a cask
Who said, "Is it too much to ask
That I might float some place
With a motherly face?"
But it proved to be too great a task.

Original comic here.

The second instalment in the Barrel Saga. The first limerick is here.

Classic comic 455 - Hats

You might think no headwear is edgier
Than the black-hatted hacker man's headgear.
But buy two from the hatter
Or three, for that matter,
And even Black Hat Man will dread yer.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 277 - Long Light

There was an old man from the Wight
Who rigged an absurdly long light.
When drivers complained
He popped out and explained,
That assiduous man from the Wight.

Original comic here.

That's the Isle of Wight, where for many journeys it's quicker to sail.

Classic comic 458 - Regrets

Whether cousin or best friend's half-sister
You need to take more chances, mister.
Or would you like to bet
That more people regret
That they shouldn't than they should have kissed her?

Original comic here.

Classic comic 262 - In Ur Reality

There was a meme fan named MacPherson
Whose mania started to worsen
From digital cats
To entering flats
And captioning felines in person.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 393 - Ultimate Game

There once was a man from wherever
Who frustrated Death's dark endeavour.
He'd a role-playing game
Ready when the time came
So they sat reading rulebooks forever.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 162 - Angular Momentum

There once was a girl from Marbella
Who spun like a Spitfire propeller.
The more the girl whirled
The slower th' world twirled
And the more secs she had with her fella.

Original comic here.

Before there was Limerixkcd

Not everyone will know that the idea for this site came from musings in the comments to the blog "XKCD Sucks" (whose views I don't necessarily share or endorse, but which has certainly provided a forum for lively discussion).

Somebody pointed out that the first line of Comic 740, about Daft Punk sounded like the start of a limerick. That gave me the idea to write companion limericks to XKCD comics, and here we are.

Before I got the site going, though, I used to post my creations in the comments to XKCD Sucks posts. Now valued Limerixkcd reader Ann Apolis, to whom great thanks are due, has been kind enough to collate those original limericks, so I can share them with the completists among you. Without further ado...

Comic 751 - Swimsuit Issue
We spend our time trying to stop teenies
From looking at chicks in bikinis
But the web generation
Sees double penetration
Every day, so let's go drink bellinis

Comic 752 - Phobia
- That snake! I think it just hissed! Aaargh!
- We're all scared of something, my sister
So let's go reprise
Thelma and Louise
But if it was mixed up with Twister

Comic 753 - Southern Half
Hey you, the man in the white houthe
Before you shoot off your big mouth
Please do be so kind
As to switch on your mind -
The Mid East is nowhere near the south!

Comic 754 - Dependencies
Course CPSC Four Three Two
Will make each dependency issue
Disappear in a sec
And there's just one prereq:
Course CPSC Four Three Two

Comic 759 - 3X9
So what's three times nine? This looks fun...
Well nine equals root eighty-one...
And blurring my vision
I take root for division...
So that's... twenty seven? I'm done!

Comic 761 - DFS
I've got a date! Now, what's the worst
That could happen? Snakes, lightning, a burst
Appendix... [Hours roll
Down a wiki black hole]
I've got to stop searching depth first!

Comic 835 - Tree
If your major's CS then you'll see
That there's more than one heap, ditto tree.
If you try to combine
These around Christmas time
Then your parents will groan - so will we!

Comic 846 - Dental Nerve
We know Ke$ha's lifestyle is mental
But she should look after her dental
Hygiene - using whiskey
Might make her sound frisky
But the price in the long term's not gentle.

Classic comic 159 - Boombox

A lovestruck young lad from the boondocks
Serenaded his sweet with a boombox
But it didn't suffice
And his Vanilla Ice
Got him pelted with staplers and moon rocks.

Original comic here.

This young lady was into astronomy, you see, so when she reached for a heavy object to throw at the doe-eyed rap fan, her collection of lunar curiosities came easily to hand.

Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, unless someone throws a bit of it at you.

Classic comic 501 - Faust 2.0

There was a young fellow named Kramer
Who neatly escaped Satan's flamer.
He took Old Nick's cheque
But was not darned to heck
All thanks to a fiendish disclaimer.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 622 - Haiku Proof

If you think there are limited primes
You can enter them all and press "times";
Now make it one bigger
And either this figure
Is prime, or divides by new primes.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 75 - Curse Levels

I hope that you won't think me blunt
Or pulling some ludicrous stunt
But you're a gosh-darn-it
Dum diddly chug-tarn-it
Fil-fol-de-rol crud-cuddling idiot.

Original comic here.

Squeamish, moi?

Classic comic 724 - Hell

In Hell you're eternally grounded
For sins that in your life abounded
You sit playing Tetris
Except that - just get this -
The floor that your blocks land on's rounded.

Original comic here.

A companion limerick to number 888, in the previous post.