Monday, 30 May 2011

Before there was Limerixkcd

Not everyone will know that the idea for this site came from musings in the comments to the blog "XKCD Sucks" (whose views I don't necessarily share or endorse, but which has certainly provided a forum for lively discussion).

Somebody pointed out that the first line of Comic 740, about Daft Punk sounded like the start of a limerick. That gave me the idea to write companion limericks to XKCD comics, and here we are.

Before I got the site going, though, I used to post my creations in the comments to XKCD Sucks posts. Now valued Limerixkcd reader Ann Apolis, to whom great thanks are due, has been kind enough to collate those original limericks, so I can share them with the completists among you. Without further ado...

Comic 751 - Swimsuit Issue
We spend our time trying to stop teenies
From looking at chicks in bikinis
But the web generation
Sees double penetration
Every day, so let's go drink bellinis

Comic 752 - Phobia
- That snake! I think it just hissed! Aaargh!
- We're all scared of something, my sister
So let's go reprise
Thelma and Louise
But if it was mixed up with Twister

Comic 753 - Southern Half
Hey you, the man in the white houthe
Before you shoot off your big mouth
Please do be so kind
As to switch on your mind -
The Mid East is nowhere near the south!

Comic 754 - Dependencies
Course CPSC Four Three Two
Will make each dependency issue
Disappear in a sec
And there's just one prereq:
Course CPSC Four Three Two

Comic 759 - 3X9
So what's three times nine? This looks fun...
Well nine equals root eighty-one...
And blurring my vision
I take root for division...
So that's... twenty seven? I'm done!

Comic 761 - DFS
I've got a date! Now, what's the worst
That could happen? Snakes, lightning, a burst
Appendix... [Hours roll
Down a wiki black hole]
I've got to stop searching depth first!

Comic 835 - Tree
If your major's CS then you'll see
That there's more than one heap, ditto tree.
If you try to combine
These around Christmas time
Then your parents will groan - so will we!

Comic 846 - Dental Nerve
We know Ke$ha's lifestyle is mental
But she should look after her dental
Hygiene - using whiskey
Might make her sound frisky
But the price in the long term's not gentle.

Comic 905 - Homeownership

There once was a man from Tribeca
Who went from home-owner to -wrecker.
He'd moved in an hour
When he got drunk on power
And razed it with his Black and Decker.

Original comic here.

The third gentleman from the greater New York area to feature in one of these limericks, I believe.

Friday, 27 May 2011

Comic 904 - Sports

There's a tendency when watching sport
To invest more than one strictly ought.
You might as well toss
Fifty coins, and get cross
If the tails take a loss, I'd have thought.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Classic comic 159 - Boombox

A lovestruck young lad from the boondocks
Serenaded his sweet with a boombox
But it didn't suffice
And his Vanilla Ice
Got him pelted with staplers and moon rocks.

Original comic here.

This young lady was into astronomy, you see, so when she reached for a heavy object to throw at the doe-eyed rap fan, her collection of lunar curiosities came easily to hand.

Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, unless someone throws a bit of it at you.

Comic 903 - Extended Mind

An eminent man from Zagreb
Once kept his whole brain on the web.
He felt pretty flash
Till the servers went crash
And pop! Now he's not a celeb.

Original comic here.

Monday, 23 May 2011

Comic 902 - Darmok and Jalad

Some cultures tell tales about heroes
And Nebuchadnezzars and Neros
But some are less arty
And just want to party
And hook up and have a few beer-os.

Original comic here.

Friday, 20 May 2011

Comic 901 - Temperature

A hot-flushing fellow from Täby
Thought "I'm getting feverish, mäybe."
He measured his flu
With a test from Clear Blue
And found out he was having a bäby.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Comic 900 - Religions

A Christian lad from Santa Fe
Would only observe Easter Day.
From Whitsun to Lent
Was in synagogues spent
And his imam said that was OK.

Original comic here.

Monday, 16 May 2011

Comic 899 - Number Line

There once was a seamstress from Devon
Who wanted to count up to seven.
Her number line got
Tangled up in a knot
And she skipped straight from four to eleven.

Original comic here.

EDIT: Here's another one!

If there's one thing that sets my brain whirring
It's zero point nine nine recurring:
It can't equal unity
And yet shows immunity
To my efforts at proof. What's occurring?

Saturday, 14 May 2011

Comic 898 - Chain of Command

At the top of all high-level trees
Is a shadowy eminence grise.
Barack is the Pres
But the techie-in-res
Knows, really, that he's the big cheese.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Classic comic 501 - Faust 2.0

There was a young fellow named Kramer
Who neatly escaped Satan's flamer.
He took Old Nick's cheque
But was not darned to heck
All thanks to a fiendish disclaimer.

Original comic here.

Comic 897 - Elevator Inspection

No certificate here, but a draft
Is on file. Hooray! How we laughed!
Let's all go and see!
(But in reality
You won't - so you're getting the shaft.)

Original comic here.

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

Classic comic 622 - Haiku Proof

If you think there are limited primes
You can enter them all and press "times";
Now make it one bigger
And either this figure
Is prime, or divides by new primes.

Original comic here.

Monday, 9 May 2011

Comic 896 - Marie Curie

When buffers bang on about Curie
It brings me to boiling fury.
Our history's swimmin'
With brilliant women
So don't act like she's the whole story.

Original comic here.

Readers from the north-east of England may be able to ignore the "half-rhyme" tag for this limerick.

Friday, 6 May 2011

Classic comic 75 - Curse Levels

I hope that you won't think me blunt
Or pulling some ludicrous stunt
But you're a gosh-darn-it
Dum diddly chug-tarn-it
Fil-fol-de-rol crud-cuddling idiot.

Original comic here.

Squeamish, moi?

Comic 895 - Teaching Physics

That rubber-sheet image of gravity
Has quite a large logical cavity
But the maths is a bore
So please just ignore;
It's hardly the depths of depravity!

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

Comic 894 - Progeny

The peaks that computers are reaching
In guessing and chessing and speeching
Make humans redundant
In matters abundant -
The only thing we're good at's teaching.

Original comic here.

Monday, 2 May 2011

Comic 893 - 65 Years

Our drive to send men into space
Is no longer moving apace;
Not quite decades seven
Post-Apollo 11
We'll be once more a planet-bound race.

Original comic here.