There lurks a beast in Cirith Ungol
In atmosphere gloomy and fungal
Her heart black as night
Who quotes... EB White?!
When spinning her spiderweb jungle.
Friday, 27 July 2012
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
One starts dabbling with recursive wishes
And the meta-ness seems quite delicious
But that old jobsworth djinn
Just will not let you win
And you'll wish you'd not been so ambitious.
That's for the main theme of the comic, but the line about banishing TV show bores into their own obsessions ought not to be overlooked:
The next time an eyelash slides out
I shall wish for the magical clout
To banish those bros
Who go on about shows
To the shows that they go on about.
Monday, 23 July 2012
If there's one thing that sours the mood
It's these vague status updates - how rude!
I can scroll down the page
Till my eyes pop with rage
But they never do more than allude.
"I officially give up," says Dean.
"That's the last time I trust them," wails Jean.
"I can't stand it!" Scott cries
While Rolando just sighs;
Well, OK, but... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
You can post pics of pigs with the plague
Boast of crimes that send you to The Hague
You can fill up my feed
With a socialist screed
But please, don't be so flipping vague!
When your system is tied up in knots
When your root device kernel hub rots
I’d just give up, mate
Shut it all down and wait
For the superintelligent bots.
Thursday, 19 July 2012
Your erudite screed on Ron Paul
Doesn’t make you sound grown-up at all
Bt if U wrt N txt spk
I'll swear until next week
You were at the Inaugural Ball.
Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Two geology students from Yeading
Investigating recent spreading
Due to a thrust fault
Had to call a hard halt
And get down to some volcanic bedding.
This comes late, and I'm still unsatisfied. I think if I knew some geology terms of my own, instead of having to stick to the ones in the comic, the innuendo might have come out a little less clunky.
Monday, 16 July 2012
However relentless you beeeeee
You never can out-argue meeeeee
From plums to percussion
I'll win the discussion
How? Whoosh down a waterslide. Wheeeeee!
Wednesday, 11 July 2012
Saturday, 7 July 2012
There was a man from Inverness
Who couldn't be beaten at chess.
As on Agincourt field
His opponent's knight's shield
Would yield to pawn bowmen. Success!
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
There once was a man from Calcutta
Who knew how to manage his clutter.
He was bright, he was brisk,
He'd a big box marked MISC
That meticulous man from Calcutta.
Monday, 2 July 2012
There once was a salesman named Ned
Who saw an old schoolfriend and said:
“As sure as heckfire, son,
You’re Phil! I’m Ned Ryerson!”
Bing! He got punched in the head.