Comic 1098 - Star Ratings

These star ratings’ benchmark is four:
– An excellent product scores more.
– Below four: Don’t bother.
– Full marks: The guy’s mother has recently stopped by the store.

Original comic here.

Comic 1096 - Clinically Studied Ingredient

If a substance has been sent for testing
I hope I'm not rude in suggesting
You ought to disclose
What the test process shows
Before I do any ingesting.

Original comic here.

Comic 1073 - Weekend

There once was a man from Muscaturday
Who wished every day could be Saturday.
Then his boiler broke – bummer!
He needed a plumber
And they all charged him double. Oh, draturday.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 250 - Snopes

From half-hearted email-scare clunkers
To tales of beasts eating spelunkers,
The way everyone copes
Is to check it on Snopes—
But who will debunk the debunkers?

Original comic here.

Comic 1001 - AAAAAA

There once was a man from Brindisi
Whose bed spun around - pretty whizzy!
Unable to sleep
He tried counting sheep
But the lambs couldn't leap straight (too dizzy).

Original comic here.

Classic comic 325 - A-Minus-Minus

There once was a trader named Linus
Renowned for his eBay-based slyness.
Instead of a top hat
He'd post you a bobcat
But his feedback still showed as A minus.

Original comic here.

One from the archives, while we're on the cat-attack theme.

Comic 995 - Coinstar

A man in a financial pickle
Used choc coins to vend a Popsicle.
He got it to work
With a nudge and a jerk
But the ice lolly tasted of nickel.

Original comic here.

Comic 993 - Brand Identity

The grocery shelves are a riot
That makes your eyes crave peace and quiet
So if there was some snackaging
In plain, simple packaging
You’d be fairly likely to buy it.

Original comic here.

Actually, KwikSave in the UK used to do almost exactly this with its 'No frills' line. It may still do, but there isn't one near me these days.

Comic 990 - Plastic Bags

They give you a bag for each item
Then double-bag, so bugs can't bite 'em
Then you buy a big bag
Which they bung in a bag
And on and on, ad infinitum.

Original comic here.

Needless to say, I have half-inched the rhymes from that other poem about the fleas.

Comic 980 - Money

A meticulous chart that compares
The values of all the world’s wares?
If you want to see more
It’s right there in the store
Priced at just fifteen little green squares.

Original comic here.

Comic 958 - Hotels

My tactic for online reviewses
Deliberately lies and confuses
I trash the best places
To make sure I get spaces—
I win, everyone but me loses!

Original comic here.

Sorry for the delay in getting round to this. I was called away for a narrow-boating trip at short notice, and had limited internet connectivity on the waterways. I will catch up soon.

Comic 956 - Sharing

A tree might desire to be giving
But we've all got to make us a living
So DRM's used:
Ebooks keep you amused
And keep writers from begging and spiving.

Original comic here.

Comic 952 - Stud Finder

When no clue or tip or reminder
Can help you locate your stud finder
When studs go unfound
And frustrations abound
Then you need a—

Original comic here.

Comic 951 - Working

There once was a man from Kilkenny
Who laboured to save every penny.
When compared with the dough
He'd have made working, though,
They didn't look like very many.

Original comic here.

Comic 947 - Investing

There was a young lady from Leicester
Who felt she should be an investor
But a grand safely hid
Won't make three hundred quid
In a decade. It didn't int'rest 'er.

Original comic here.

Comic 937 - TornadoGuard

Five stars tell me "killer app"
And one star tells me "total crapp"
But averaged reviews
Can only confuse
Wiping valuable views off the map.

Original comic here.

Comic 936 - Password Strength

Picking passwords for personal places?
Don't mess round with numbers and cases!
Four words, you will find
Stick much faster in mind
And are safer than platinum braces.

Original comic here.

Comic 916 - Unpickable

A moneyed man from Maidenhead
Had a bulletproof safe lined with lead.
But his valuable stuff
He thought quite safe enough
In a shoebox tucked under his bed.

Original comic here.

Comic 909 - Worst-Case Shopping

There once was a man of the Wear
Who always bought premium gear
To prepare for each kind
Of disaster his mind
Could conceive, although none did appear.

Original comic here.

Comic 906 - Advertising Discovery

Conditioning from Wikipedia
Is dangerous in other media:
A square-bracketed digit
Does not mean it's legit
So don't let the scoundrels mislead ya.

Original comic here.