Comic 1053 - Ten Thousand

If someone’s a gap in their knowledge
Don’t sniff “Where did you go to college??”
Why not be a nice chap
and fill in the gap—
There's far more potential for LOL-age.

Original comic here.

Comic 1004 - Batman

If you were a young plutocrat
With a shedload of crime to combat
There's a chance (be it scanty)
You'd turn vigilante
But why do it dressed as a bat?

Original comic here.

First Charlie Brooker comes out against Batman, and now XKCD. Could Mr Wayne be losing his cachet? Who will betray him next? Albert Alfred? Simon Pegg?

Comic 981 - Porn Folder

There once was a man from Livorno
Whose system for stashing his porno
Was way more depraved
Than the content there saved –
Screwing file structures gave him the horn-o.

Original comic here.

BONUS CONTENT: There's an opportunity for a slightly arcane anglicised version of this one, so here it is:

There was a sysadmin from Leghorn
Whose system for stashing his peghorn
Was way more depraved
Than the content there saved–
Screwing file structures gave him the heghorn.

Comic 895 - Teaching Physics

That rubber-sheet image of gravity
Has quite a large logical cavity
But the maths is a bore
So please just ignore;
It's hardly the depths of depravity!

Original comic here.

Comic 889 - Turtles

What wonderful beasts are the tortoises
Who never seem shell-shocked or fraughtoises.
Fate's minor malignity
Will not dent their dignity
Nor panic make manic their thoughtoises.

Original comic here.

I prefer tortoises to turtles.

Comic 871 - Charity

If you do a nice thing and show parity
Between buying yourself things and charity
Some still will implore
You to give even more
While scrooges are spared their vulgarity.

Original comic here.