Wednesday, 30 March 2011

Comic 879 - Lamp

There once was a tramp from Beauchamp
Who wished on a fabulous lamp
"Give me money to spend"
But he rubbed the wrong end
The outcome: he's still poor, and damp.

Original comic here.

Monday, 28 March 2011

Comic 878 - Model Rail

A scale model maker from Ightham
Made Ightham down to the last item.
His scale house (a doddle)
Had a model scale model
And on and on, ad infinitum.

Original comic here.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Comic 877 - Beauty

A scientist's number one duty
Is to seek after truth and not beauty;
Or so we are told,
But check out my slime mould -
Maybe you'd like to hold? What a cutie!

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

Comic 876 - Trapped

Each of us, from Garden to Oddie
Is a brain kept banged up in a body;
The far side of the fence is
Seen solely through senses
Whose info could be sharp or shoddy.

Original comic here.

Monday, 21 March 2011

Classic comic 483 - Fiction Rule of Thumb

If you're making up words by the barrel
For characters' food and apparel
I'll know in a jiffy
Your novel is whiffy
Unless your name's Tolkien or Carroll.

Original comic here.

Or Lear, of course!

Comic 875 - 2009 Called

One dark night my iPhone rang twice,
And through some strange roll of Fate's dice
'Twas the past; I kept shtum
About torments to come
And instead we swapped fashion advice.

Original comic here.

Friday, 18 March 2011

Comic 874 - Time Management

There once was a man from Mannheim
Who knew how to manage his time.
He sat at his screen
Playing Commander Keen,
That well-managed man from Mannheim.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

Comic 873 - FPS Mod

These *BLAM* people have their own lives
But in this game, the *BLAM* strong survives
*BLAM* I'd rather just thrill
To the joy of the kill
*BLAM* *BOOOOOM* And not mourn for their wives.

Original comic here.

I confess I am having difficulty making killing-centric subject matter work in the nonsense verse format. Let's have some lighter XKCD comics, please.

Monday, 14 March 2011

Comic 872 - Fairy Tales

My mother saw learning potential
In tales with more maths than essential;
Puss in Boots thus enacted
Was rather protracted
And Rapunzel got very tangential.

Original comic here.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Comic 871 - Charity

If you do a nice thing and show parity
Between buying yourself things and charity
Some still will implore
You to give even more
While scrooges are spared their vulgarity.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Classic comic 357 - Flies

I know an old man from Devizes
Who sets out a bowl to catch flieses.
They all shun his honey
But vin's on the money -
Life's full of these funny surprises.

Original comic here.

I think using balsamic vinegar is cheating a bit, like if you took a horse to water when you knew it was really thirsty.

Comic 870 - Advertising

A bargain-hound from Ensenada
Saved up to a quarter on Prada
Just guess her emotion
When this vague promotion
Turned out to save nada de nada.

Original comic here.

Monday, 7 March 2011

Comic 869 - Server Attention Span

Request any page from the server
And it will assist you with fervour
But smartphones will find
That they get left behind -
The request slips its mind, by Minerva!

Original comic here.

And who among us hasn't, at one time or another, called upon a Roman goddess in our online frustration?

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Classic comic 703 - Honor Societies

The first rule of Tautology Club
(Which acts as a networking hub
For the people who do
All the things that they do):
The first rule of Tautology Club.

Original comic here.

I don't know what an honour society is.

Friday, 4 March 2011

Comic 868 - Nolan Chart

There's one thing online libertarians
Whether striplings or sexagenarians
All hold in their hearts
And that's diamond-shaped charts -
They're baseball fans crossed with contrarians.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 2 March 2011

Comic 867 - Herpetology

In the view of some mean ornithologists
We should pity the daft herpetologists.
A taxonomical blunder
Comdemns them; file under

Original comic here.