Comic 1147 - Evolving

It ain’t what you’d really call glamorous
When staphylococcus get amorous
But the methi-solution
That their evolution
Provides makes the nurses all clamorous.

Original comic here.

Comic 1146 - Honest

When people ask you to be honest
Their countenance will go the wanest
If their rash desire
Should find a complier;
It’s what no one wants, to be honest.

Original comic here.

Comic 1145 - Sky Color

Let’s go ask a scientist guy
To account for the blue in the sky.
The light wavelengths short
Get through as they ought
But it isn’t violet, though. WHY?

Original comic here.

Comic 1144 - Tags

<div>There once was a man from Japan
Who thought there was nothing worse than
Web code, short or long,
With tags that match wrong.
But who cares what that guy thinks?</span>

Original comic here.

Comic 1143 - Location

If what you might bluntly call nerds
Turn up at your house in their herds
Then some online game
Is likely to blame
That’s just as daft as Angry Birds.

Original comic here.

Comic 1142 - Coverage

You can’t call, text message or page
A man in a metal mesh cage.
I think this might be
Why the whole UFC
Roster’s always in such a great rage.

Original comic here.

Comic 1141 - Two Years

Whether royalty, riff raff or rabble
Get sick and you'll cane it at Scrabble.
Jazike, Zarg and Querdze
Are suddenly words
With none of that "challenging" babble.

Original comic here.

Comic 1140 - Calendar of Meaningful Dates

Three hundred and sixty-six dates
All mentioned at different rates.
The top one’s the first
While eleven comes worst.
(September’s a special case, blates.)

Original comic here.

Comic 1139 - Rubber and Glue

I’m a substance obtained from the goo
From a tree that originally grew
In Old Venezuela
But thanks to some sailor
Now covers south Asia. You’re glue.

Original comic here.

Comic 1138 - Heatmap

Those marvellous marketing chaps
Can show your consumers on maps.
It turns out you’re sellin’
Where people are dwellin’
But scoring a duck in the gaps.

Original comic here.

Comic 1137 - LTR/RTL

When someone is bothering me
I say “U+202e”
‮Which makes their speech look
‮Like some gobbledegook
‮Which it is, to be fair, usually.

Original comic here.

Comic 1136 - Broken Mirror

I go round breaking mirrors for fun
It’s smashing in more ways than one!
When I reflect
On my failures inept
I can blame ’em on bad luck – job done.

Original comic here.

Comic 1135 - Arachnoneurology

A spider-made suit – just my luck
It sounds good, but boy did it suck.
The jacket was wearable
The pants, though, were terrible—
The flies just kept on getting stuck.

Original comic here.

Comic 1134 - Logic Boat

There once was a man in a boat
Who said: “It’s just me and my goat.
How pleasant to swoon
On a hot afternoon
Afloat, with a goat, in my boat.”

Original comic here.

Comic 1133 - Up Goer Five

It’s pretty cool getting to know
How these space up-goers up-go
And if tech makes you queasy,
Relax! It's quite easy —
It’s not rocket science, you... D’oh!

Original comic here.

Comic 1132 - Frequentists vs. Bayesians

When predicting unlikely events
False positives give an immense
Skew to any data
So best wait till later
Before you get coaxed off the fence.

Original comic here.

Comic 1131 - Math

You might risk incurring the wrath
Of folks on the right-forking path
But if interested in
Knowing who’s gonna win
You may as well just do the math.

Original comic here.

Comic 1130 - Poll Watching

Poll happiness or poll dejection?
The smallest things have a connection,
But to get miles ahead
With your foe left for dead
You’d do worse than win the election.

Original comic here.

Comic 1129 - Cell Number

A wannabe star in LA
Shamefacedly skipped town one day
And while he would claim
That he’d never sought fame
His cell number gave him away.

Original comic here.

Comic 1128 - 50 Shades

Whether living in mansion or hovel
You're probably reading this novel
About a hot chick
Who clicks with a dick
Cause she digs the way he makes her grovel.

Original comic here.

Synecdoche!