Comic 1538 - Song Lyrics

There once was a man mumble mumble
Who fumbledy rumbellow tumble.
When asked why this was
He said "It's because
Hum-bumberly wumble do mumble."

Original comic here.

(I'm afraid I'm not restarting full-time, readers. Hope you enjoyed this stand-alone effort.)

Comic 1146 - Honest

When people ask you to be honest
Their countenance will go the wanest
If their rash desire
Should find a complier;
It’s what no one wants, to be honest.

Original comic here.

Comic 1134 - Logic Boat

There once was a man in a boat
Who said: “It’s just me and my goat.
How pleasant to swoon
On a hot afternoon
Afloat, with a goat, in my boat.”

Original comic here.

Comic 1111 - Premiere

There once was a man from Bolivia
Who cared not for flim-flam or trivia
He'd only one thought:
Earth's eventual mort
That sensible man from Bolivia.

Original comic here.

Comic 1089 - Internal Monologue

There was a man from Camber Sands
Who knew just what to do with his hands.
He let them both dangle
At a very slight angle
That cool, cool cat from Camber Sands.

Original comic here.

Comic 1077 - Home Organization

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who knew how to manage his clutter.
He was bright, he was brisk,
He'd a big box marked MISC
That meticulous man from Calcutta.

Original comic here.

Comic 1070 - Words for Small Sets

A few means between two and five;
Several's between two and five;
A handful can be
Two, five, four or, er, three
But a couple's two. (Or up to five.)

Original comic here.

Comic 1007 - Sustainable

There was a man from Knotty Ash
Who knew what to do with his trash.
He put every piece in
Its own special bin
That sustainable man from Knott' Ash.

Original comic here.

A very old-school limerick for a Monday morning. This one really needs an illustration of the fellow in question, his kitchen floor awash with bins marked "apple cores" and "foil" and "pork bones" and "lint". Perhaps I will draw one; but it will not be very soon, I'm afraid.

Comic 991 - Phantom Menace

There once was a film fan named Dennis
Who queued to see The Phantom Menace.
But, forgetting his specs,
He mistook the ’plex
For some disused warehouses. Poor Dennis!

Original comic here.

Poor Dennis indeed. Some might say the only thing worse would have been actually seeing the film.

Comic 974 - The General Problem

There once was a techie from Holt
Whose friend asked him, "Pass me the salt?"
He sat there, inert
Till well after dessert
That far-sighted fellow from Holt.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 277 - Long Light

There was an old man from the Wight
Who rigged an absurdly long light.
When drivers complained
He popped out and explained,
That assiduous man from the Wight.

Original comic here.

That's the Isle of Wight, where for many journeys it's quicker to sail.

Comic 921 - Delivery Notification

My laptop: delivery missed.
Well I won't just sit here and be dissed!
I will not be ignored -
Now send for my sword!
My sword: delivery missed.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 622 - Haiku Proof

If you think there are limited primes
You can enter them all and press "times";
Now make it one bigger
And either this figure
Is prime, or divides by new primes.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 1 - Barrel Part 1

There once was a young boy from Farrell
Who travelled the sea in a barrel.
He cried "See me float
My cylindrical boat"
That buoyant young boy from Farrell.

Original comic here.

A very old-fashioned limerick for the first ever edition of XKCD.

Comic 874 - Time Management

There once was a man from Mannheim
Who knew how to manage his time.
He sat at his screen
Playing Commander Keen,
That well-managed man from Mannheim.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 703 - Honor Societies

The first rule of Tautology Club
(Which acts as a networking hub
For the people who do
All the things that they do):
The first rule of Tautology Club.

Original comic here.

I don't know what an honour society is.

Comic 866 - Compass and Straightedge

There once was a boy from the Peaks
Who mastered construction techniques
But his compass-and-straight
Couldn't make him a mate -
He bisected alone in the Peaks.

Original comic here.

Another curiously sad limerick, but one that nicely recalls some of the earliest examples of the form. If you would like to see other limericks that follow similarly antediluvian conventions, you can use the tags 'There Once Was' and 'Same word in first and last lines' below this post.

Classic comic 15 - Just Alerting You

There once was an old man of Grange
Who warned people that he was strange.
This message he'd chorus
From his brontosaurus
Which carried him all about Grange.

Original comic here.

Comic 856 - Trochee Fixation

There once was a girl from Milwaukee
Who lived for the Internet trochee.
So "Ninja!" or "Pirate!"
She'd burble 'til, irate,
They silenced that girl from Milwaukee.

Original comic here.

Fittingly enough, "irate" itself becomes a trochee for the duration of this limerick.

Classic comic 757 - Toot

There once was a young man from Jackson
Who always would carry a klaxon.
When braggarts would warn
"Not to toot my own horn...",
BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP! tooted that fellow from Jackson.

Original comic here.

Another one that might appeal to fans of the recent "Consecutive Vowels" comic.