Monday, 31 October 2011

Classic comic 455 - Hats

You might think no headwear is edgier
Than the black-hatted hacker man's headgear.
But buy two from the hatter
Or three, for that matter,
And even Black Hat Man will dread yer.

Original comic here.

Comic 971 - Alternative Literature

You can stimulate thoughts on demand
By just holding a book in your hand.
They don't even need writing!
Now, does this sound inviting:
Two thousand blank books for a grand?

Original comic here.

Friday, 28 October 2011

Comic 970 - The Important Field

You can book the wrong day for your flight
You can buy shoes six sizes too tight
You can mistype your name
And it's you who's to blame
But your email address must be right!

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Comic 969 - Delta-P

The Pevensies' littlest daughter
Went hiding where she didn't oughtta
Then turned on the tap
And went for a nap
And Narnia flooded with water.

Original comic here.

[Edited the next day for scansion and spelling.]

Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Classic comic 277 - Long Light

There was an old man from the Wight
Who rigged an absurdly long light.
When drivers complained
He popped out and explained,
That assiduous man from the Wight.

Original comic here.

That's the Isle of Wight, where for many journeys it's quicker to sail.

Monday, 24 October 2011

Comic 968 - Everything

I'm not gonna act like a fool
I don't see your body and drool
I won't walk fifty miles
For one of your smiles
But I just... We could... You're really cool.

Original comic here.

Friday, 21 October 2011

Comic 967 - Prairie

The prairie! Th' American plain
With waves like the wild Spanish Main!
But on close observation
There's a transformation:
They're particles amber of grain.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Comic 966 - Jet Fuel

There once was a man from Dun Laoghaire
Whose paranoid friends made him weary
So he took their daft plots
And tied them in knots
To make one vast conspiracy theory.

Original comic here.

Monday, 17 October 2011

Classic comic 458 - Regrets

Whether cousin or best friend's half-sister
You need to take more chances, mister.
Or would you like to bet
That more people regret
That they shouldn't than they should have kissed her?

Original comic here.

Comic 965 - Elements

There once was a man named Dmitri
Who said "No airbender can beat me!
I use with some elegance
All hundred-odd elements—
This table sets them out quite neatly."

Original comic here.

Here's some more Tinie Tempah-style half-rhyme. It's the future of the poet's favourite pastime. So don't race me or I'll leave you on the start line. You'll be silenced like a Paris boulevard mime.

Friday, 14 October 2011

Comic 964 - Dorm Poster

Dark Side of the Moon is the norm
To adorn the raw walls in your dorm.
Relate the straight version
To this great inversion
And neatly subvert that worn form.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 12 October 2011

Steve Jobs

I missed the point by some way when the "eternal flame" comic came out, but I now realise that it was quite a touching tribute to the late Steve Jobs. So for what it's worth, here is my own Steve Jobs tribute to go with it.

Computers that work without knobs
Sound systems that look like key fobs
And phones that can find you
The pub just behind you—
We'll keep you in mind, Mr Jobs.

Is a limerick a suitable form for a tribute like this? You may well ask, as I just have; but I like to think the limerick is more versatile than some give it credit for.

You might even say that a limerick has certain things in common with Apple's best products. It's small and self-contained; it looks simple but requires careful attention to form if it is to work properly; but it's still fun. A Macbook is a nice little limerick of a computer, compared to the rambling prose of a desktop PC. Or so I would like to think.

Comic 963 - X11

I don't want to ring my own bell
But my life's going really quite well.
I'll just check the server...
Kill me, by Minerva!
xorg.conf! Damn it to hell.

Original comic here.

That "comics I didn't really understand label" is getting a lot of use lately. Still, at least we get another appearance from Limerixkcd mascot, the goddess Minerva.

Monday, 10 October 2011

Comic 962 - The Corliss Resolution

Life forms never show much proclivity
To fly from their earthbound captivity.
Space race and survival
Lose pace to their rival:
Some risky, fun, frisky activity.

Original comic here.

Friday, 7 October 2011

Comic 961 - Eternal Flame

Do you feel my heart beat? It's no game,
Understand? Do you feel the same?
Am I only dreaming
Or is this faint gleaming,
This burning, an eternal flame?

Original comic here.

I had little clue as to what the comic was getting at, so I limericked the Bangles instead.

UPDATE: I now see that the comic was a tribute to the late Steve Jobs. For what it's worth, you can read my own modest tribute to him here.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

Comic 960 - Subliminal

FedEx's subliminal arrow
Appears if you let your eyes narrow
But take meds to excess
(Or if on them, take less)
And the sights will chill right to the marrow.

Original comic here.

Tuesday, 4 October 2011

Comic 959 - Caroling

There once was a good old King Wenceslas
Whose charity spared no expenseslas
But you can't please 'em all
So when carolers call
They should know that they might cause offenceslas.

Original comic here.

Back up to date!

Comic 958 - Hotels

My tactic for online reviewses
Deliberately lies and confuses
I trash the best places
To make sure I get spaces—
I win, everyone but me loses!

Original comic here.

Sorry for the delay in getting round to this. I was called away for a narrow-boating trip at short notice, and had limited internet connectivity on the waterways. I will catch up soon.