Comic 1108 - Cautionary Ghost

The “literally” misuse brigade
Must be met head on, fought and allayed
Or else just ignore ’em
And keep your decorum
For all the attention you’re paid.

Original comic here.

Comic 1090 - Formal Languages

There was a man from Alabama
Who was sort of an in-person spammer.
At events about formal
Language, it was normal
For him to burst in and yell “GRAMMAR!”

Original comic here.

Comic 1083 - Writing Styles

Your erudite screed on Ron Paul
Doesn’t make you sound grown-up at all
Bt if U wrt N txt spk
I'll swear until next week
You were at the Inaugural Ball.

Original comic here.

Comic 1070 - Words for Small Sets

A few means between two and five;
Several's between two and five;
A handful can be
Two, five, four or, er, three
But a couple's two. (Or up to five.)

Original comic here.

Comic 1069 - Alphabet

A sleazy pick-up guy from Welwyn
Said “This game’s no longer compellin’!
Put U next to I?
That’s pretty small fry
When I could reform ALL OF SPELLIN’!”

Original comic here.

Comic 1012 - Wrong Superhero

There was a wordsmith from Brabant
Who said to a twenty-foot ant:
“Give me a spare N,
And I’d see to you then,
But I have’t got oe, so I ca’t.”

Original comic here.

Comic 1010 - Etymology-Man

When seawater turns homicidal
Post-earthquake, d'you call it a tidal
Wave, or a tsunami?
Either way, you'd be barmy
To sit splitting hairs, being idle.

Original comic here.

Comic 1007 - Sustainable

There was a man from Knotty Ash
Who knew what to do with his trash.
He put every piece in
Its own special bin
That sustainable man from Knott' Ash.

Original comic here.

A very old-school limerick for a Monday morning. This one really needs an illustration of the fellow in question, his kitchen floor awash with bins marked "apple cores" and "foil" and "pork bones" and "lint". Perhaps I will draw one; but it will not be very soon, I'm afraid.

Comic 973 - MTV Generation

When teenagers act a bit naughty,
Do not use that term, Mr Haughty.
"MTV Generation"
Was an 80s creation–
By now, they're all well over forty.

Original comic here.

Comic 945 - I'm Sorry

When you come to me, weary and lame,
With tales of misfortune and shame,
And I say "I'm sorry,"
There's no need to worry:
I'm not saying that I'm to blame.

Original comic here.

Comic 943 - Empirical

A physicist from St John's Wood
Was scientific wherever he could.
When his gal popped the question
He took her suggestion
But only to see if he would.

Original comic here.

Comic 890 - Etymology

A long time ago (so they say)
In a galaxy far, far away
They somehow used words
(To bemusement of nerds)
That referred to the birds of today.

Original comic here.

Comic 856 - Trochee Fixation

There once was a girl from Milwaukee
Who lived for the Internet trochee.
So "Ninja!" or "Pirate!"
She'd burble 'til, irate,
They silenced that girl from Milwaukee.

Original comic here.

Fittingly enough, "irate" itself becomes a trochee for the duration of this limerick.

Comic 853 - Consecutive Vowels

The delight of a man from Kauai
Were strings of a, e, u and i.
When vowels started queueing
The passion ensuing
Resounded all over Hawaii.

Original comic here.