Comic 1101 - Sketchiness

A “sex party” sounds pretty sketchy;
“Sex tarp” might make mademoiselles retchy.
But either way, you’d
Best prepare for a rude
Rebuff. Really! So crude! And so lechy!

Original comic here.

Could be an unlucky comic for all you binary fans out there.

Comic 1069 - Alphabet

A sleazy pick-up guy from Welwyn
Said “This game’s no longer compellin’!
Put U next to I?
That’s pretty small fry
When I could reform ALL OF SPELLIN’!”

Original comic here.

Comic 1041 - Whites of Their Eyes

There was a squaddie from Devizes
Whose shooting would win him few prizes.
Sent into the war
He held fire once he saw
The beautiful whites of their eyeses.

Original comic here.

Comic 1039 - RuBisCO

There once was a chemist from Grays
Who bumped uglies in deviant ways.
For an extra frisson
To keep him turned on
His "safe word" was ribulosebiphosphatecarboxylaseoxegenase.

Original comic here.

I must apologise for going away for a few days without warning. Well, I am back now. The limerick for the next comic will follow quite soon.

Comic 1026 - Compare and Contrast

My love's like a day in the summer
She's short and she makes you feel glummer
She's wet and she's cold
And unkind to the old—
No wait, that's the wrong season. Bummer.

Original comic here.

Comic 1016 - Valentine Dilemma

When choosing your Valentine's trinket
If she can eat, wear, smell or drink it
You're sure to enjoy
Heavy petting ahoy,
But you're shafted if you overthink it.

Original comic here.

Comic 996 - Making Things Difficult

Take my top off? Do you mind?
Good doctor, I'm hardly that kind.
A real lady needs
To receive some cheap beads
Before showing her breasts or behind.

Original comic here.

Still catching up after Christmas. Two more to go. If only I had my own team of elves.

Comic 983 - Privacy

Two college kids, Frisky and Foxy,
Were blocked by their room-mate’s raid. Poxy!
Not content with just stopping
Its fans from bed-hopping,
Warcraft now creates virgins by proxy.

Original comic here.

Comic 968 - Everything

I'm not gonna act like a fool
I don't see your body and drool
I won't walk fifty miles
For one of your smiles
But I just... We could... You're really cool.

Original comic here.

Comic 946 - Family Decals

"I think we should have children, honey."
Ha! Ha! That's really quite funny.
I think we should keep
Our shiny new jeep
And adorn it with pictures of... money.

Original comic here.

Note that I'm not necessarily on the side of the crass automobilist in this limerick.

Comic 943 - Empirical

A physicist from St John's Wood
Was scientific wherever he could.
When his gal popped the question
He took her suggestion
But only to see if he would.

Original comic here.

Comic 940 - Oversight

A young man from the Adriatic
Was never a fitness fanatic
Till it struck him that humping
Beats all the iron-pumping
He'd do if he went Fitocratic.

Original comic here.

Comic 935 - Missed Connections

There was a young couple from Fiji
Who never could turn off their 3G.
As the priest said their wedding
She stood buying bedding
While he won a ton on a gee-gee.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 162 - Angular Momentum

There once was a girl from Marbella
Who spun like a Spitfire propeller.
The more the girl whirled
The slower th' world twirled
And the more secs she had with her fella.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 159 - Boombox

A lovestruck young lad from the boondocks
Serenaded his sweet with a boombox
But it didn't suffice
And his Vanilla Ice
Got him pelted with staplers and moon rocks.

Original comic here.

This young lady was into astronomy, you see, so when she reached for a heavy object to throw at the doe-eyed rap fan, her collection of lunar curiosities came easily to hand.

Swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, unless someone throws a bit of it at you.

Comic 864 - Flying Cars

OK, we're not living on Mars
And we don't zip round in flying cars
But at least now we know
Calls without video
Mean that girls are just wearing their bras.

Original comic here.

Classic Comic 807 - Connected

The least common ground seems gigantic
When lovers are young, free and frantic
But I'm old and jaded,
The lustre has faded
And none of it seems that romantic.

Original comic here.

A rather despondent limerick for a rather desolate comic, mercifully withheld until a little while after St Valentine's Day.

Classic comic 372 - To Be Wanted

There's a sailor girl whose lost love is
An office-bound Internet whizz
But he's just figmentation
Of her 'magination
And she's a creation of his.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 684 - We Get It

There once was a fellow from Werder
Whose moves for a girl rarely stirred 'er;
Once they did, the matter
Produced endless chatter
And made his friends contemplate murder.

Original comic here.