Comic 931 - Lanes

Recovering from the Big C
You realise you'll never be free.
Some lanes quickly veer
To the side, some are clear
And you don't know in which one you'll be.

Original drawing here.

Apologies if the above seems rather uncomfortable. Is a limerick the best form for discussing serious illness? Clearly not. But this is Limerixkcd, so if xkcd turns serious I can only darken my light verse as best I can.

Comic 930 - Days of the Week

On Sunday we all go to church.
On Tuesday we meet about merch.
Each Wed is for ladies
And Sat making babies
But Friday you're left in the lurch.

Original comic here.

I wonder whether all those hits about Friday break-ups are fans of the popular 90s indie group Shed Seven.

Comic 929 - Speculation

There once was a young man from Jarrow
Who often found games a bit narrow.
He played snakes and ladders
With real-life adders
And in catch, shot the ball with an arrow.

Original comic here.

Comic 928 - Mimic Octopus

When exploring the seas around Java
You won't see him unless he'd rather.
But whoever you meet-o
Could be, incognito
Mimic Oc, or his mother or father.

Original comic here.

Comic 927 - Standards

We can't say which standard is best
So there's only one thing to suggest:
Make a new, universal
one. Whoops, a reversal -
It just competes with all the rest.

Original comic here.

Please don't be alarmed by the rate of posting. I can assure you that each limerick has had the requisite loving care lavished upon it. And thanks to this deluge, I am now free to work on my other projects until Friday.

Comic 926 - Time Vulture

Whether Philistine or man of culture
Beware of the frumious Time Vulture
Who will grimly endure
Till you croak, for as sure
As Death, Death will finally halt ya.

Original comic here.

Comic 925 - Cell Phones

It's a tricksy old thing, correlation,
For even assuming causation,
Does mobile telephony
Rush us to Persephone
Or disease cause its proliferation?

Original comic here.

Comic 924 - 3D Printer

Try as I might, I can't top XKCD reader Ann Apolis's excellent limerick for this one. It's simply unbeatable. So, here it is, reproduced from the comments to the last post but two.

It never, alas, takes that long
For technology use to go wrong.
The power to print
Will be just used to mint
A sixteen-inch Bakelite dong.

Original comic here.

Comic 923 - Strunk and White

To keep safe from Strunk and White's scorn
You must get the style right (so they warn).
Please don't be confused:
An ampersand's used
For the manual, a slash for the porn.

Original comic here.

Comic 922 - Fight Club

Tyler D and his pugilist chum
Told their members to always keep shtum.
Their two golden rules
Should be taught in film schools
So that buffs would stop boring me numb.

Original comic here.

I have returned from my break. Look out for several more posts over the next few days as I get back onto XKCD time.

Away to sea

Hello, readers!

I have booked a short summer holiday with Jumblie Cruises. That means that I will not be able to give immediate attention to the next few XKCD comic installments. However, assuming the vessel is seaworthy (as I have been assured that it is) I will be back the week after next, ready to catch up with the comics and compile a second "Readers' Limericks" post as well.

Enjoy your week, as I'm sure I will enjoy mine,

Edward "Limerick" Lear

Comic 921 - Delivery Notification

My laptop: delivery missed.
Well I won't just sit here and be dissed!
I will not be ignored -
Now send for my sword!
My sword: delivery missed.

Original comic here.

Comic 920 - YouTube Parties

There was a man from Bucharest
Whose vid selections were the best!
He'd pretend to watch those
That somebody else chose
While thinking up more to suggest.

Original comic here.

Comic 919: Tween Bromance

Whether frenemy, bromance or taint
I keep hearing words that just ain't.
They might raise a smile
Irregardless of style
But come on, tweens. Show some restraint.

Original comic here.