Friday, 27 July 2012

Comic 1087 - Cirith Ungol

There lurks a beast in Cirith Ungol
In atmosphere gloomy and fungal
Her heart black as night
Who quotes... EB White?!
When spinning her spiderweb jungle.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 25 July 2012

Comic 1086 - Eyelash Wish Log

One starts dabbling with recursive wishes
And the meta-ness seems quite delicious
But that old jobsworth djinn
Just will not let you win
And you'll wish you'd not been so ambitious.

That's for the main theme of the comic, but the line about banishing TV show bores into their own obsessions ought not to be overlooked:

The next time an eyelash slides out
I shall wish for the magical clout
To banish those bros
Who go on about shows
To the shows that they go on about.

Original comic here.

Monday, 23 July 2012

Comic 1085 - ContextBot

If there's one thing that sours the mood
It's these vague status updates - how rude!
I can scroll down the page
Till my eyes pop with rage
But they never do more than allude.

"I officially give up," says Dean.
"That's the last time I trust them," wails Jean.
"I can't stand it!" Scott cries
While Rolando just sighs;
Well, OK, but... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

You can post pics of pigs with the plague
Boast of crimes that send you to The Hague
You can fill up my feed
With a socialist screed
But please, don't be so flipping vague!

Original comic here.

Comic 1084 - Server Problem

When your system is tied up in knots
When your root device kernel hub rots
I’d just give up, mate
Shut it all down and wait
For the superintelligent bots.

Original comic here.

By Minerva!

Thursday, 19 July 2012

Comic 1083 - Writing Styles

Your erudite screed on Ron Paul
Doesn’t make you sound grown-up at all
Bt if U wrt N txt spk
I'll swear until next week
You were at the Inaugural Ball.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Comic 1082 - Geology

Two geology students from Yeading
Investigating recent spreading
Due to a thrust fault
Had to call a hard halt
And get down to some volcanic bedding.

Original comic here.

This comes late, and I'm still unsatisfied. I think if I knew some geology terms of my own, instead of having to stick to the ones in the comic, the innuendo might have come out a little less clunky.

Monday, 16 July 2012

Comic 1081 - Argument Victory

However relentless you beeeeee
You never can out-argue meeeeee
From plums to percussion
I'll win the discussion
How? Whoosh down a waterslide. Wheeeeee!

Original comic here.

Comic 1080 - Visual Field

A prankster optician from Yuma
Would often (so sayeth the rumour)
Give patients a soaking,
Which practical joking
He liked to call “aqueous humour”.

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Comic 1079 - United Shapes

Iowa's a sandwich deluxe
While Ohio's pants; Cali sucks.
But OK's panhandle
And the rest will net Randall
Minnesota: a bundle of bucks.

Original comic here.

Saturday, 7 July 2012

Comic 1078 - Knights

There was a man from Inverness
Who couldn't be beaten at chess.
As on Agincourt field
His opponent's knight's shield
Would yield to pawn bowmen. Success!

Original comic here.

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Comic 1077 - Home Organization

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who knew how to manage his clutter.
He was bright, he was brisk,
He'd a big box marked MISC
That meticulous man from Calcutta.

Original comic here.

Monday, 2 July 2012

Comic 1076 - Groundhog Day

There once was a salesman named Ned
Who saw an old schoolfriend and said:
“As sure as heckfire, son,
You’re Phil! I’m Ned Ryerson!”
Bing! He got punched in the head.

Original comic here.