Comic 879 - Lamp

There once was a tramp from Beauchamp
Who wished on a fabulous lamp
"Give me money to spend"
But he rubbed the wrong end
The outcome: he's still poor, and damp.

Original comic here.

Comic 878 - Model Rail

A scale model maker from Ightham
Made Ightham down to the last item.
His scale house (a doddle)
Had a model scale model
And on and on, ad infinitum.

Original comic here.

Comic 877 - Beauty

A scientist's number one duty
Is to seek after truth and not beauty;
Or so we are told,
But check out my slime mould -
Maybe you'd like to hold? What a cutie!

Original comic here.

Comic 876 - Trapped

Each of us, from Garden to Oddie
Is a brain kept banged up in a body;
The far side of the fence is
Seen solely through senses
Whose info could be sharp or shoddy.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 483 - Fiction Rule of Thumb

If you're making up words by the barrel
For characters' food and apparel
I'll know in a jiffy
Your novel is whiffy
Unless your name's Tolkien or Carroll.

Original comic here.

Or Lear, of course!

Comic 875 - 2009 Called

One dark night my iPhone rang twice,
And through some strange roll of Fate's dice
'Twas the past; I kept shtum
About torments to come
And instead we swapped fashion advice.

Original comic here.

Comic 874 - Time Management

There once was a man from Mannheim
Who knew how to manage his time.
He sat at his screen
Playing Commander Keen,
That well-managed man from Mannheim.

Original comic here.

Comic 873 - FPS Mod

These *BLAM* people have their own lives
But in this game, the *BLAM* strong survives
*BLAM* I'd rather just thrill
To the joy of the kill
*BLAM* *BOOOOOM* And not mourn for their wives.

Original comic here.

I confess I am having difficulty making killing-centric subject matter work in the nonsense verse format. Let's have some lighter XKCD comics, please.

Comic 872 - Fairy Tales

My mother saw learning potential
In tales with more maths than essential;
Puss in Boots thus enacted
Was rather protracted
And Rapunzel got very tangential.

Original comic here.

Comic 871 - Charity

If you do a nice thing and show parity
Between buying yourself things and charity
Some still will implore
You to give even more
While scrooges are spared their vulgarity.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 357 - Flies

I know an old man from Devizes
Who sets out a bowl to catch flieses.
They all shun his honey
But vin's on the money -
Life's full of these funny surprises.

Original comic here.

I think using balsamic vinegar is cheating a bit, like if you took a horse to water when you knew it was really thirsty.

Comic 870 - Advertising

A bargain-hound from Ensenada
Saved up to a quarter on Prada
Just guess her emotion
When this vague promotion
Turned out to save nada de nada.

Original comic here.

Comic 869 - Server Attention Span

Request any page from the server
And it will assist you with fervour
But smartphones will find
That they get left behind -
The request slips its mind, by Minerva!

Original comic here.

And who among us hasn't, at one time or another, called upon a Roman goddess in our online frustration?

Classic comic 703 - Honor Societies

The first rule of Tautology Club
(Which acts as a networking hub
For the people who do
All the things that they do):
The first rule of Tautology Club.

Original comic here.

I don't know what an honour society is.

Comic 868 - Nolan Chart

There's one thing online libertarians
Whether striplings or sexagenarians
All hold in their hearts
And that's diamond-shaped charts -
They're baseball fans crossed with contrarians.

Original comic here.

Comic 867 - Herpetology

In the view of some mean ornithologists
We should pity the daft herpetologists.
A taxonomical blunder
Comdemns them; file under
Reptilo-amphibo-apologists.

Original comic here.