If you do a nice thing and show parity
Between buying yourself things and charity
Some still will implore
You to give even more
While scrooges are spared their vulgarity.
I know an old man from Devizes
Who sets out a bowl to catch flieses.
They all shun his honey
But vin's on the money -
Life's full of these funny surprises.
Request any page from the server
And it will assist you with fervour
But smartphones will find
That they get left behind -
The request slips its mind, by Minerva!
There's one thing online libertarians
Whether striplings or sexagenarians
All hold in their hearts
And that's diamond-shaped charts -
They're baseball fans crossed with contrarians.
In the view of some mean ornithologists
We should pity the daft herpetologists.
A taxonomical blunder
Comdemns them; file under
Reptilo-amphibo-apologists.