Comic 1147 - Evolving

It ain’t what you’d really call glamorous
When staphylococcus get amorous
But the methi-solution
That their evolution
Provides makes the nurses all clamorous.

Original comic here.

Comic 1141 - Two Years

Whether royalty, riff raff or rabble
Get sick and you'll cane it at Scrabble.
Jazike, Zarg and Querdze
Are suddenly words
With none of that "challenging" babble.

Original comic here.

Comic 1109 - Refrigerator

At midnight, a goblin armada
Creeps silently into my larder
To turn food once delicious
To dangerous dishes
That would scare Don Alonso Quesada.

Original comic here.

Comic 1097 - A Hypochondriac's Nightmare

While being sucked into the jet
Yvette became struck with regret.
All that stress and alarm
For a rash on her arm
Which was hardly a comparable threat.

Original comic here.

Comic 1066 - Laundry

Whether frat-boy, footballer or swot,
Your laundry will soon go to pot.
One day you stop folding,
The next, clothes a-moulding
All over the floor in the grot.

Original comic here.

Comic 1035 - Cadbury Eggs

Mmm, delicious soda... Oh, bugger!
That’s three Cadbury eggs’ worth of sugar!
If I keep on drinking
This stuff without thinking,
I’ll be the size of a beluga.

Original comic here.

Of course, anyone who would say "oh, bugger" probably wouldn't be calling it soda. And would be much more likely to say "creme egg" than "Cadbury egg". Sometimes these poems just make no sense at all.

As linguistic anthropologists scour the globe for an accent that would make this poem rhyme properly.