Comic 1111 - Premiere

There once was a man from Bolivia
Who cared not for flim-flam or trivia
He'd only one thought:
Earth's eventual mort
That sensible man from Bolivia.

Original comic here.

Comic 1093 - Forget

All memories eventually pass
Drifting up and apart like a gas.
What seems vivid today
Will soon vanish away
So don’t fret if you look like an ass.

Original comic here.

Comic 1048 - Emotions

The things that distress you today
And stress you, though testing, still may
Be recalled with fond yearning
If some future turning
Point pops up and sweeps them away.

Original comic here.

Comic 1042 - Never

Whatever I do, or wherever
I go, I know that I will never
Find something close to
What I once had with you;
I'm not likely to ever endeavour.

Original comic here.

Very downbeat. Limericks can get rather sinister when you let the sentences run on.

Comic 944 - Hurricane Names

Hurricanes (storms, but much wetter)
Are given names, one for each letter.
The year we all dread
Is when they go past zed
And on into alpha and beta.

Original comic here.

Comic 938 - T-Cells

You might treat leukemia by
Using HIV to modify
The blood cells; this cure
Ups the risk all the more
Like the woman who swallowed the fly.

Original comic here.

Comic 933 - Tattoo

When you go get your body tattooed
They do dragons or chicks in the nude
Or skulls, guns and glass
But what's really badass
Is tiny dots applied to one's chest in the course of medical treatment.

Original comic here.

Comic 931 - Lanes

Recovering from the Big C
You realise you'll never be free.
Some lanes quickly veer
To the side, some are clear
And you don't know in which one you'll be.

Original drawing here.

Apologies if the above seems rather uncomfortable. Is a limerick the best form for discussing serious illness? Clearly not. But this is Limerixkcd, so if xkcd turns serious I can only darken my light verse as best I can.

Comic 926 - Time Vulture

Whether Philistine or man of culture
Beware of the frumious Time Vulture
Who will grimly endure
Till you croak, for as sure
As Death, Death will finally halt ya.

Original comic here.

Comic 925 - Cell Phones

It's a tricksy old thing, correlation,
For even assuming causation,
Does mobile telephony
Rush us to Persephone
Or disease cause its proliferation?

Original comic here.

Comic 912 - Manual Override

With the plane at a deadly incline
Override it and everything's fine.
But your plan comes to naught
(Says the black box report)
Cause the manual for manual's online.

Original comic here.

Comic 891 - Movie Ages

That tale of a mermaid's mobility
Now moves me to mourn my virility
Since it's now more remote
From today, you will note
Than from Neil in the Sea of Tranquility.

Original comic here.

Comic 883 - Pain Rating

I went to the doc's feeling blue
In the hope that we'd talk some things through.
He looked into my psyche
And said "Me no likey" -
He had to have counselling too.

Original comic here.

This isn't meant to be a racist stereotype of a doctor with poor English. It's more that the shock of exposure to the patient's pitch-black emotional landscape has caused the doctor's consciousness to seek refuge in infantilisation. Sorry to spoil the joke for any Peter Sellers fans out there.

Comic 881 - Probability

The doctor's done her calculation
And told me my life's expectation;
It's meaningless now
Cause the silly old cow
Left out the standard deviation.

Original comic here.

Another rather morbid comic to try and turn into nonsense verse. Worse still, I didn't know enough stats terms to make the last line scan properly.

Comic 873 - FPS Mod

These *BLAM* people have their own lives
But in this game, the *BLAM* strong survives
*BLAM* I'd rather just thrill
To the joy of the kill
*BLAM* *BOOOOOM* And not mourn for their wives.

Original comic here.

I confess I am having difficulty making killing-centric subject matter work in the nonsense verse format. Let's have some lighter XKCD comics, please.