Comic 1142 - Coverage

You can’t call, text message or page
A man in a metal mesh cage.
I think this might be
Why the whole UFC
Roster’s always in such a great rage.

Original comic here.

Comic 1141 - Two Years

Whether royalty, riff raff or rabble
Get sick and you'll cane it at Scrabble.
Jazike, Zarg and Querdze
Are suddenly words
With none of that "challenging" babble.

Original comic here.

Comic 1138 - Heatmap

Those marvellous marketing chaps
Can show your consumers on maps.
It turns out you’re sellin’
Where people are dwellin’
But scoring a duck in the gaps.

Original comic here.

Comic 1123 - The Universal Label

Long ago, in the dark void ethereal
A material quite magisterial
Squeak-popped into view—
It all comes from H₂,
From CDs to sea hawks to cereal.

Original comic here.

Comic 1103 - Nine

Whether fitness fanatic or glutton,
Neglect not your number 9 button.
Take one second away
On your micro-display
And --ping!-- poor 9 won't be forgotten.

Original comic here.

Comic 1101 - Sketchiness

A “sex party” sounds pretty sketchy;
“Sex tarp” might make mademoiselles retchy.
But either way, you’d
Best prepare for a rude
Rebuff. Really! So crude! And so lechy!

Original comic here.

Could be an unlucky comic for all you binary fans out there.

Comic 1085 - ContextBot

If there's one thing that sours the mood
It's these vague status updates - how rude!
I can scroll down the page
Till my eyes pop with rage
But they never do more than allude.

"I officially give up," says Dean.
"That's the last time I trust them," wails Jean.
"I can't stand it!" Scott cries
While Rolando just sighs;
Well, OK, but... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

You can post pics of pigs with the plague
Boast of crimes that send you to The Hague
You can fill up my feed
With a socialist screed
But please, don't be so flipping vague!

Original comic here.

Comic 1081 - Argument Victory

However relentless you beeeeee
You never can out-argue meeeeee
From plums to percussion
I'll win the discussion
How? Whoosh down a waterslide. Wheeeeee!

Original comic here.

Comic 1077 - Home Organization

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who knew how to manage his clutter.
He was bright, he was brisk,
He'd a big box marked MISC
That meticulous man from Calcutta.

Original comic here.

Comic 1053 - Ten Thousand

If someone’s a gap in their knowledge
Don’t sniff “Where did you go to college??”
Why not be a nice chap
and fill in the gap—
There's far more potential for LOL-age.

Original comic here.

Comic 1045 - Constraints

When wandering vaguely up tracks
Take sumptuous, spicy spam snacks.
Rucksacks missing lunch
(If earlier, brunch)
Besmirch beefy backwoodsmen's backs.

Original comic here.

The reverse-alphabet challenge is a fun one, though I expect lots of people could come up with better limericks than mine.

Comic 1043 - Ablogalypse

If you are a LiveJournal mumblr
Or a beetle-brained blogosphere bumblr
Please don't get all glum
Or run off to your mum
When your hoster gets humbled by Tumblr.

Original comic here.

Does this mean that Blogspot is not quite the thing these days? It suits me just as well as my penny farthing and plus fours do.

Comic 1038 - Fountain

A brolly, if you use your brain,
Can do more than just keep off the rain.
With the thrust of this fountain
I'm king of the mountain—
Now, how do I get down again?

Original comic here.

Comic 1034 - Share Buttons

When a web page could not make you wearier
Scroll down till you reach its posterior.
The share buttons, at least,
Give you something to feast
Your eyes on, and make you feel superior.

Original comic here.

Comic 1030 - Keyed

It's over? I'll deface your car
In a fashion that's frankly bizarre.
Whichever type be it,
Ferrari or Fiat,
I'll key it, you'll see from afar.

Original comic here.

Comic 1023 - Late-Night PBS

Whether medium, skinny or flabby,
Don't doze off during Downton Abbey.
Late-night PBS
Causes nothing but stress
And you'll wake well-informed, scared and crabby.

Original comic here.

Comic 1019 - First Post

If you want to shape people's opinions
In political online dominions
Ignore adland's boasts—
Just make sure the first posts
On each piece are put there by your minions.

Original comic here.

This limerick has an example of what I call a "perfect triple": I only know three words ending in -inions, and I've managed to get them all in the poem, rhyming with each other.

Admittedly there is "pinions" as well, but I don't really know what that means.

Comic 1014 - Car Problems

There once was a man from Missouri
Whose car went up, hotter than curry.
Burnt out, boot to bonnet
And to put the cap on it
The pic he took came out all blurry.

Original comic here.

I'm going to admit to using half-rhyme in this one, although if you are lucky enough your accent may manouevre them all into the same rhyme-space.

Of course, the man from Missouri himself would say "burnt out, trunk to hood". And he might not eat very much curry. And in all probability, he could have access to superior photographic equipment, which he might very well use rather adeptly. So really, this whole limerick is complete fantasy.

Classic Comic 470 - The End is Not for a While

When protesters blather and babble
I join their unruly rabble
With signs that just say
Things are pretty OK
And would anyone like to play Scrabble?

Original comic here.

Lots of protesting going on at the moment, so it's nice to revisit this one.

Comic 990 - Plastic Bags

They give you a bag for each item
Then double-bag, so bugs can't bite 'em
Then you buy a big bag
Which they bung in a bag
And on and on, ad infinitum.

Original comic here.

Needless to say, I have half-inched the rhymes from that other poem about the fleas.