Comic 1538 - Song Lyrics

There once was a man mumble mumble
Who fumbledy rumbellow tumble.
When asked why this was
He said "It's because
Hum-bumberly wumble do mumble."

Original comic here.

(I'm afraid I'm not restarting full-time, readers. Hope you enjoyed this stand-alone effort.)

Comic 1144 - Tags

<div>There once was a man from Japan
Who thought there was nothing worse than
Web code, short or long,
With tags that match wrong.
But who cares what that guy thinks?</span>

Original comic here.

Comic 1134 - Logic Boat

There once was a man in a boat
Who said: “It’s just me and my goat.
How pleasant to swoon
On a hot afternoon
Afloat, with a goat, in my boat.”

Original comic here.

Comic 1129 - Cell Number

A wannabe star in LA
Shamefacedly skipped town one day
And while he would claim
That he’d never sought fame
His cell number gave him away.

Original comic here.

Comic 1121 - Identity

A man of the Great Orinoco
Secured things with systems rococo
But he’d never need
To be fully IDed
Cause no one else would be so loco.

Original comic here.

Comic 1117 - My Sky

There once was a man from Shanghai
Who owned forty per cent of the sky.
His friends’ good intention
Was never to mention
That it ain’t a thing you can buy.

Original comic here.

Comic 1115 - Sky

There was a man from Camden Town
Who pottered about upside down.
If you wanted to rile
Him, you’d only to smile
But he’d always delight in a frown.

Original comic here.

Comic 1113 - Killed In Action

There was a cop from Cambridgeshire
With one day to go to retire.
It ended v badly,
As later was sadly
Reported by George Alagiah.

Original comic here.

Comic 1111 - Premiere

There once was a man from Bolivia
Who cared not for flim-flam or trivia
He'd only one thought:
Earth's eventual mort
That sensible man from Bolivia.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 614 - Woodpecker

There once was a young man from Mecca
Who met a one-year-old woodpecker.
But something was lacking:
A card, shiny packing
And --gasp!-- a deluxe Black and Decker.

Original comic here.

Comic 1090 - Formal Languages

There was a man from Alabama
Who was sort of an in-person spammer.
At events about formal
Language, it was normal
For him to burst in and yell “GRAMMAR!”

Original comic here.

Comic 1089 - Internal Monologue

There was a man from Camber Sands
Who knew just what to do with his hands.
He let them both dangle
At a very slight angle
That cool, cool cat from Camber Sands.

Original comic here.

Comic 1082 - Geology

Two geology students from Yeading
Investigating recent spreading
Due to a thrust fault
Had to call a hard halt
And get down to some volcanic bedding.

Original comic here.

This comes late, and I'm still unsatisfied. I think if I knew some geology terms of my own, instead of having to stick to the ones in the comic, the innuendo might have come out a little less clunky.

Comic 1078 - Knights

There was a man from Inverness
Who couldn't be beaten at chess.
As on Agincourt field
His opponent's knight's shield
Would yield to pawn bowmen. Success!

Original comic here.

Comic 1077 - Home Organization

There once was a man from Calcutta
Who knew how to manage his clutter.
He was bright, he was brisk,
He'd a big box marked MISC
That meticulous man from Calcutta.

Original comic here.

Comic 1076 - Groundhog Day

There once was a salesman named Ned
Who saw an old schoolfriend and said:
“As sure as heckfire, son,
You’re Phil! I’m Ned Ryerson!”
Bing! He got punched in the head.

Original comic here.

Comic 1073 - Weekend

There once was a man from Muscaturday
Who wished every day could be Saturday.
Then his boiler broke – bummer!
He needed a plumber
And they all charged him double. Oh, draturday.

Original comic here.

Comic 1069 - Alphabet

A sleazy pick-up guy from Welwyn
Said “This game’s no longer compellin’!
Put U next to I?
That’s pretty small fry
When I could reform ALL OF SPELLIN’!”

Original comic here.

Comic 1067 - Pressures

A patent clerk working in Bern
Left the whole world of science astern.
The result: a succession
Of clerks with depression
Cause they can’t do a similar turn.

Original comic here.

Comic 1044 - Romney Quiz

There once was a poor boy named Charlie
Who barely had two grains of barley
But a sweet lucky dip
Won a factory trip
That was straight out of Salvador Dali.

Original comic here.