Comic 1135 - Arachnoneurology

A spider-made suit – just my luck
It sounds good, but boy did it suck.
The jacket was wearable
The pants, though, were terrible—
The flies just kept on getting stuck.

Original comic here.

Comic 1134 - Logic Boat

There once was a man in a boat
Who said: “It’s just me and my goat.
How pleasant to swoon
On a hot afternoon
Afloat, with a goat, in my boat.”

Original comic here.

Comic 1104 - Feathers

Dinosaurs used to be brillo
When they were smooth like armadillo.
These feathers are weird,
Though if they reappeared
I'd love me a dinosaur pillow.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 614 - Woodpecker

There once was a young man from Mecca
Who met a one-year-old woodpecker.
But something was lacking:
A card, shiny packing
And --gasp!-- a deluxe Black and Decker.

Original comic here.

Comic 1087 - Cirith Ungol

There lurks a beast in Cirith Ungol
In atmosphere gloomy and fungal
Her heart black as night
Who quotes... EB White?!
When spinning her spiderweb jungle.

Original comic here.

Comic 1062 - Budget News

I was at a political talk
Where the lecturer spoke in a squawk
And he seemed (here’s the thing)
To be left- AND right-wing—
He must be a deficit hawk.

Original comic here.

Comic 1056 - Felidae

OSX has a problem, and that's
That it's shortly to run out of cats.
With th' exception of lynx
Every name that's left stinks
So they'll soon end up looking like prats.

Original comic here.

Comic 1045 - Constraints

When wandering vaguely up tracks
Take sumptuous, spicy spam snacks.
Rucksacks missing lunch
(If earlier, brunch)
Besmirch beefy backwoodsmen's backs.

Original comic here.

The reverse-alphabet challenge is a fun one, though I expect lots of people could come up with better limericks than mine.

Comic 1037 - Umwelt

The snake is uncommonly thin
But she has quite the stretchiest skin.
She can gulp down a tiger
Who, crouching inside 'er,
Has no idea how he got in.

Original comic here.

Apparently different people see different comics for this one, but I got one about a snake so hurrah for another animal limerick.

Comic 1035 - Cadbury Eggs

Mmm, delicious soda... Oh, bugger!
That’s three Cadbury eggs’ worth of sugar!
If I keep on drinking
This stuff without thinking,
I’ll be the size of a beluga.

Original comic here.

Of course, anyone who would say "oh, bugger" probably wouldn't be calling it soda. And would be much more likely to say "creme egg" than "Cadbury egg". Sometimes these poems just make no sense at all.

As linguistic anthropologists scour the globe for an accent that would make this poem rhyme properly.

Comic 1031 - s/Keyboard/Leopard

From LA to the Eastern Seaboard
We all wish we had a pet keyboard.
You'll be in no jeopardy
As you tap at your leopard-y,
So long as you've had the beast de-clawed.

Original comic here.

Comic 1021 - Business Plan

There was a man from Samarkand
Who went to the beach to sell sand.
He sold gulls and salt water
Till told that he oughta
Read up on supply and demand.

Original comic here.

Comic 1013 - Wake Up Sheeple

The government's short-changing people
But don't shout it from every steeple.
You'll think what you had
Wasn't really half baaaaad
When we all live in thrall to The Sheeple.

Original comic here.

Comic 1012 - Wrong Superhero

There was a wordsmith from Brabant
Who said to a twenty-foot ant:
“Give me a spare N,
And I’d see to you then,
But I have’t got oe, so I ca’t.”

Original comic here.

Comic 1008 - Suckville

There once was an old man from Suckville
Whose doctor made him grow a duck bill.
He said, “I don’t believe
What these quacks can achieve,
And I’m damned if I know who the fuck will.”

Original comic here.

Comic 1004 - Batman

If you were a young plutocrat
With a shedload of crime to combat
There's a chance (be it scanty)
You'd turn vigilante
But why do it dressed as a bat?

Original comic here.

First Charlie Brooker comes out against Batman, and now XKCD. Could Mr Wayne be losing his cachet? Who will betray him next? Albert Alfred? Simon Pegg?

Comic 1001 - AAAAAA

There once was a man from Brindisi
Whose bed spun around - pretty whizzy!
Unable to sleep
He tried counting sheep
But the lambs couldn't leap straight (too dizzy).

Original comic here.

Classic comic 325 - A-Minus-Minus

There once was a trader named Linus
Renowned for his eBay-based slyness.
Instead of a top hat
He'd post you a bobcat
But his feedback still showed as A minus.

Original comic here.

One from the archives, while we're on the cat-attack theme.

Comic 999 - Cougars

There was a man from Chattanooga
Whose son was attacked by a cougar
But thanks to TV
He pinned it for 3
Much like former wrestler Lex Luger.

Original comic here.

The second big cat attack in the space of three posts. How peculiar.

Comic 997 - Wait Wait

There was a broadcaster named Peter
Whose wife was attacked by a cheetah.
He looked on, aghast
As the big cat sped past
And wailed out "Wait Wait ... don't eat her!"

Original comic here.

Not having heard of him or his programme before, I do not know whether Peter Sagal actually has a wife. If so, this limerick ought not to be construed as a wish for Mrs Sagal to be the victim of an attack by an escaped zoo animal in real life. I wish only the best to the Sagal family (if there is one) in 2012.