Comic 1146 - Honest

When people ask you to be honest
Their countenance will go the wanest
If their rash desire
Should find a complier;
It’s what no one wants, to be honest.

Original comic here.

Comic 1137 - LTR/RTL

When someone is bothering me
I say “U+202e”
‮Which makes their speech look
‮Like some gobbledegook
‮Which it is, to be fair, usually.

Original comic here.

Comic 1094 - Interview

I applied for a job. Being grilled,
My case sucked the guy in and spilled
Him in my chair. When he
Tried the same thing on me,
I said, “Sorry, that opening’s been filled!”

Original comic here.

Not a comic that lent itself well to the limerick form. Still, only three behind now!

Comic 1090 - Formal Languages

There was a man from Alabama
Who was sort of an in-person spammer.
At events about formal
Language, it was normal
For him to burst in and yell “GRAMMAR!”

Original comic here.

Comic 1080 - Visual Field

A prankster optician from Yuma
Would often (so sayeth the rumour)
Give patients a soaking,
Which practical joking
He liked to call “aqueous humour”.

Original comic here.

Comic 1072 - Seventies

If you get rung up by the past
You'd better pick up pretty fast.
Their phone dial will fail
To press one for voicemail.
(It's not just that they can't be arsed.)

Original comic here.

Comic 1030 - Keyed

It's over? I'll deface your car
In a fashion that's frankly bizarre.
Whichever type be it,
Ferrari or Fiat,
I'll key it, you'll see from afar.

Original comic here.

Comic 1018 - Good Cop, Dadaist Cop

The standard's one calm cop, one harder;
I'd rather switch harder for dada.
The punk fugs, befuddled
As fuzz-buzz turns muddled
And answers, alarmed, sans palaver.

Original comic here.

Comic 1015 - Kerning

If there's one thing that isn't worth learning
It's how to spot terrible kerning.
Wherever you travel
You'll see it, unravel,
And claw the air, frothing and gurning.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 325 - A-Minus-Minus

There once was a trader named Linus
Renowned for his eBay-based slyness.
Instead of a top hat
He'd post you a bobcat
But his feedback still showed as A minus.

Original comic here.

One from the archives, while we're on the cat-attack theme.

Comic 995 - Coinstar

A man in a financial pickle
Used choc coins to vend a Popsicle.
He got it to work
With a nudge and a jerk
But the ice lolly tasted of nickel.

Original comic here.

Comic 992 - Mnemonics

Sums order leave you in the dark?
Want a pescatorial lark?
Then you're certain to praise
The following phrase:
Please Email My Dad A Shark

Original comic here.

Classic Comic 470 - The End is Not for a While

When protesters blather and babble
I join their unruly rabble
With signs that just say
Things are pretty OK
And would anyone like to play Scrabble?

Original comic here.

Lots of protesting going on at the moment, so it's nice to revisit this one.

Comic 989 - Cryogenics

To avoid us all being on our pension
When the future brings some great invention
It’s into the freeze...
... We wake up. Hard cheese–
The inventors were all in suspension!

Original comic here.

Classic comic 455 - Hats

You might think no headwear is edgier
Than the black-hatted hacker man's headgear.
But buy two from the hatter
Or three, for that matter,
And even Black Hat Man will dread yer.

Original comic here.

Comic 971 - Alternative Literature

You can stimulate thoughts on demand
By just holding a book in your hand.
They don't even need writing!
Now, does this sound inviting:
Two thousand blank books for a grand?

Original comic here.

Classic comic 277 - Long Light

There was an old man from the Wight
Who rigged an absurdly long light.
When drivers complained
He popped out and explained,
That assiduous man from the Wight.

Original comic here.

That's the Isle of Wight, where for many journeys it's quicker to sail.

Comic 966 - Jet Fuel

There once was a man from Dun Laoghaire
Whose paranoid friends made him weary
So he took their daft plots
And tied them in knots
To make one vast conspiracy theory.

Original comic here.

Comic 959 - Caroling

There once was a good old King Wenceslas
Whose charity spared no expenseslas
But you can't please 'em all
So when carolers call
They should know that they might cause offenceslas.

Original comic here.

Back up to date!

Comic 958 - Hotels

My tactic for online reviewses
Deliberately lies and confuses
I trash the best places
To make sure I get spaces—
I win, everyone but me loses!

Original comic here.

Sorry for the delay in getting round to this. I was called away for a narrow-boating trip at short notice, and had limited internet connectivity on the waterways. I will catch up soon.