Comic 945 - I'm Sorry

When you come to me, weary and lame,
With tales of misfortune and shame,
And I say "I'm sorry,"
There's no need to worry:
I'm not saying that I'm to blame.

Original comic here.

Comic 944 - Hurricane Names

Hurricanes (storms, but much wetter)
Are given names, one for each letter.
The year we all dread
Is when they go past zed
And on into alpha and beta.

Original comic here.

Comic 943 - Empirical

A physicist from St John's Wood
Was scientific wherever he could.
When his gal popped the question
He took her suggestion
But only to see if he would.

Original comic here.

Comic 942 - Juggling

There once was a man from Bridgetown
Who wanted to act like a clown
But his juggling tricks
Scored just three out of six -
All balls would go up, but none down.

Original comic here.

Comic 941 - Depth Perception

The clouds that make lightning and thunder,
The stars and the planets we're under
All look far too flat;
If we could fix that
We'd gaze upwards in wide-eyed wonder.

Original comic here.

Starting to catch up after my break. More soon!

Readers' limericks II

Hello, readers!

I find myself invited to a wedding. Between you and me, the couple seem rather ill-matched, although they do share an interest in sailing and have a boat of a very fetching colour. I shan't be away for a year and a day, but you might find a week's gap in my posting.

In the meantime, allow me to share some of the best limericks from the comments in the last few months, in this slightly overdue second installment of Readers' limericks. This time we have four from Ann Apolis and two from Shadowphiar, fine limericks all.

Comic 893 - 65 Years, by Ann Apolis

I'll tell you what fills me with sorrow
(so join, if you will, in my wallow:)
It'll be pretty soon
None alive walked the Moon
Though it's forty-two years post Apollo

Comic 896 - Marie Curie, by Ann Apolis

In science, the thing that most vexes
Is drama surrounding our sexes.
'All women are Curieous'
- it drives me quite furious!
There's more to their work than two Xs.

Comic 676 - Abstraction, by Shadowphiar

It takes three or four billion clocks
to run YouTube on Flash on Firefox.
How does it devour
all this processing power
just to watch a few cats in a box?

Comic 562 - Parking, by Shadowphiar

When I asked why my friend had an arc
welder on the back seat of his Merc,
he replied "It's a laugh
to cut cars in half
if they've taken two spaces to park"

Comic 906 - Advertising Discovery, by Ann Apolis

This may look like spam but it's true
It's proven by science ^[1][2]
You know it's no lie
cause it's succeeded by
Square-bracketed numbers in blue

Comic 928 - Mimic Octopus, by Ann Apolis

A very ingenious octopus
Has talent to mimic or mocktopus -
"Is this fish? Oh my God!"
"It's a cephalopod!"
(It causes considerable shocktopus!)

Well done once again, and do keep the limericks coming.

Comic 940 - Oversight

A young man from the Adriatic
Was never a fitness fanatic
Till it struck him that humping
Beats all the iron-pumping
He'd do if he went Fitocratic.

Original comic here.

Comic 939 - Arrow

There was a man from Westward Ho!
Who fired off a fletch from his bow.
But back came a kylie
Aboriginal-stylee
And struck that man from Westward Ho!!

Original comic here.

That's one exclamation mark for the surprise, and one as a standard part of Westward Ho!. Did you know that "kylie" means "boomerang"?

Comic 938 - T-Cells

You might treat leukemia by
Using HIV to modify
The blood cells; this cure
Ups the risk all the more
Like the woman who swallowed the fly.

Original comic here.

Comic 937 - TornadoGuard

Five stars tell me "killer app"
And one star tells me "total crapp"
But averaged reviews
Can only confuse
Wiping valuable views off the map.

Original comic here.

Comic 936 - Password Strength

Picking passwords for personal places?
Don't mess round with numbers and cases!
Four words, you will find
Stick much faster in mind
And are safer than platinum braces.

Original comic here.

Comic 935 - Missed Connections

There was a young couple from Fiji
Who never could turn off their 3G.
As the priest said their wedding
She stood buying bedding
While he won a ton on a gee-gee.

Original comic here.

Comic 934 - Mac/PC

That boring PC/Mac debate
Is oh so two thousand and late.
It's apps run in browsers
That now wear the trousers
So both are now equally great.

Original comic here.

Comic 933 - Tattoo

When you go get your body tattooed
They do dragons or chicks in the nude
Or skulls, guns and glass
But what's really badass
Is tiny dots applied to one's chest in the course of medical treatment.

Original comic here.

Classic comic 393 - Ultimate Game

There once was a man from wherever
Who frustrated Death's dark endeavour.
He'd a role-playing game
Ready when the time came
So they sat reading rulebooks forever.

Original comic here.

Comic 932 - CIA

There once was a hacker from Towcester
Who futzed with the CIA's howcester.
It might spook the herd
But you'll know, if a nerd,
That he really just pulled down a powcester.

Original comic here.

I've been meaning to use the trusty funny-placename-spelling trick for a while. Towcester, if you're puzzled, is pronounced "Toaster". It's near where they have the British Grand Prix.